This semester I have been dabbling in writing erotica... or what I like to call Horrotica. My works have been primarily grotesque with sexual elements and frankly, I have developed a real passion for combining the two genres together. To me, it's like throwing the vulnerable against a blood splattered window- it's just makes everything more uncomfortable, which I'm always a fan of. However, I've gotten a lot of mixed reviews about my writings, and to me, as a writer, I can't help but to laugh at what some of the people are saying to me.
For instance, I have recently been published on Horror, Sleaze, and Trash and this has caused quite an uproar to the people in my life. The blog operates on explicit language and adult material, but I love that they aren't afraid to publish poetry and fiction that isn't your normal heterosexual plots over and over again. For example, I have three poems on there titled "Loving a Prostitute," "His First Time," and "Think of Me." The first one is about a woman who falls in love with a female prostitute only to find herself played, and now she ends up in the trade herself having sex with countless male partners that she hates, only to feel some connection to the woman that she fell for. So naturally, because I wrote about a homosexual relationship, everyone is automatically assuming that I'm either hiding gay tendencies or am bi-sexual. Seriously? While I have no problem at all with the idea of being homosexual (in fact, some of my best friends are gay), I'm personally not, and I have been in a 6.5 year relationship with my boyfriend, Zachery who is very much male all the way. So, no... just because I wrote about two women falling in love...it does not mean that I have a girlfriend on the side folks.
"His First Time" was an interesting write for me, because I was dabbling in point of view, and wrote it through the voice of the boy's mother who was instructing him on how to rape his first victim, all while violently brutalizing her. Yeah, that's some pretty intense stuff...but once again, I would like to reiterate, that hello, I'm a horror writer. My stuff isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows folks...especially because I like to write about stuff that a lot of people can't even talk about. So if it bothers you, maybe horrotica isn't your genre, although I can't see why, haha. I guess my only advice to my family and friends is just imagine it's not me writing it if the sexual and violent material bothers you. In this case, you might just have to eliminate my voice from the pieces.
"Think of Me" was just a fun piece to write because I like to include strong female characters in my pieces, more often than not. Growing up as a horror addict, the fact that females were always victimized, or in a sexual stereotype really pissed me off. So when I write, guess who is getting butchered, raped, or tortured. That's right folks. It's ladies night in my world, and they are coming at you with a vengeance. This poem particularly talks about a women scorned by her cheating boyfriend and her choices to deal with the situation -- she just so happens to choose to deal with a lot of sex, and a lot of death. Nothing wrong with that right? Well apparently, some people look at me now and only label me as that goth chick the SandM, or the horror girl-- my response...hell what do I care? It pumps up my reputation for being a horror writer, and will probably make people curious about my writing. So keep talking me up :)
Then there is this wonderful dilemma:
People keep asking me why I would associate myself with a website that promotes porn, and erotic photography and my answer is, and shall remain, "If I'm not ashamed of it, why are you?"
Now I am a HUGE feminist and while the idea of porn really bothers me, I am also fascinated by the comfort levels of the people within them. If you're ok with your body, then why should anyone else care or matter to you if you're doing what you love, because let's face it people...SEX is out there. Everyone does it. Everyone reads it, and probably 90% of the population watches it on their computer. Why? Because its pleasureful. That simple. And while pleasure can be sinful...hmmmm you think that's why horror writers use it? BINGO!
I'm personally writing straight erotica now in order to do scene studies for the novel I'm writing, and will hopefully be sending off to editors in 2014 (because I'm applying to the Writing Popular Fiction Program at Seton Hill University). It fuses the world of Horror and Erotica together as a woman indulges in a secret fetish. Now I'm only going to give you the elevator pitch because I'm still ironing out some details....but what I want to remind everyone is simply that I'm a creator. I'm an artist of fiction. This stuff all comes out of my dark, creepy imagination, and that's it. I'm not running around like some maniac doing all of this masochistic stuff and playing murder mystery on the side. I live to scare people and please them at the same time with my writing, and it's just what I do, and if it bothers you, I'm sorry, but that's not going to stop me from doing what I love. But honestly, who doesn't like to read stories of people keeping their dead lover in their closet in case they get bored? Or crime victims speaking out while a chalk outline is drawn around them?
Wait.. not everyone likes reading about necrophilia?? Hmm...clearly, they need to live a little more!