Saturday, December 29, 2012

HUNTER FOUND INSANE AFTER SQUATCH HUNT

PATIENT: SCOTT WYTOVICH
ILLNESS: SQUATCH HUNTER

CASE 174: HALLUCINATIONS
RESIDING NURSE: STEPHANIE WYTOVICH

For those of you that are unaware, I do, in fact have a brother. For years, I've been trying to keep him safe and out of The Madhouse, but like so many other helpless souls, he too as begun to submit to the delusions and hallucinations of the clinically insane.

On Friday, December 29th at approximately 5:17 p.m., I found him wandering the woods in a deranged stupor claiming that he uncovered one of the biggest mysteries our world has yet to see. I'm placing this video in his file for further reference and observation, but I believe its contents have been tampered with by the same madness that has taken my poor sibling's mind.

But how does one treat such an ailment? Hydrotherapy? Seclusion? Many options come to mind, but I'm confident that Electric Shock Therapy will be quite useful in erasing the demons that run through his mind.  The young man is clearly plagued by the musings of childhood stories, and one does have to wonder if the parents are to blame...or if this instability is genetic.

Our parents have yet to make contact regarding Scott's whereabouts, but not to worry. I have dear brother locked up in restraints, sleeping comfortably in his padded cell. After all, sisters do know best.