HWA POETRY SHOWCASE III: MEET CHAD STROUP

Hi Everyone,

Over the next few weeks, I'll be posting interviews with the poets whose work was selected in the top five for the third installment of the HWA Poetry Showcase. This week, I welcome Chad Stroup to THE MADHOUSE. 

How did you hear about the poetry showcase?

I can’t remember where I heard about the first volume because that was before I was a member of the HWA, but I most likely found out about the submission call for this most recent edition through the HWA Facebook group.

What  is the title of you poem? Why did you decide to submit that particular piece?

"Nuclear Winter Kiss." I decided to submit it for a couple of reasons: 1. It was the only poem I was writing at the time that hadn’t already been published elsewhere and 2. I honestly felt it was one of the strongest poems I’d ever written. It was dark without fitting into a neat box and it just felt so equally right and wrong, if that makes sense. I was so ecstatic when I found out it was worthy of being a featured poem. I can pat myself on the back all day long for a job well done, but when people I’ve never met before recognize it as special I feel like I must be doing something right.

3.   What is your process like for writing poetry?

Usually I come up with a title first, then just start letting my mind go wild. I’ve started developing sort of a signature visual style with many of my poems, so I often shape and arrange them based on what feels right. Sometimes my poems are abandoned short story ideas that I rip apart until only the core remains, which is how "Nuclear Winter Kiss" came to be. Sometimes the opposite is true. In the case of my upcoming novel, I wrote poems about all of the primary characters first, then the story started pouring out.

4.   Who are some of your poetic influences?

I’ll probably get publicly flogged for this, but I honestly don’t read much poetry. In  

fact, the only poems I’ve read in recent years were the poems in the other editions of the HWA Poetry Showcase (and I’ll certainly be reading them all in the new one as well). Though I’ve written and/or published a decent amount of poetry (perhaps even enough to do some sort of collection at this point), I’m predominantly a fiction writer, so that is where my literary influences lie. However, music is and always has been an enormous part of my life, and the best lyricists are also poets in my opinion. With that in mind, I can list influences like Steven Patrick Morrissey, Peter Murphy, Ian Curtis, Nick Cave, Darby Crash, Nick Blinko, Elizabeth Fraser (possibly the most brilliantly weird lyricist of all time), Rick Froberg, Jerry A., and Guy Picciotto.

Who are you reading now and who/what are you looking forward to reading for the remainder of the year?

I just finished The Fireman by Joe Hill and I’m about to start reading The Night Marchers by Daniel Braum. My Need-to-Read pile is as large as always, but I’m looking forward to reading new books by Paul Tremblay, Kristopher Triana, and Jeremy P. Bushnell (none of which I even have in my physical pile yet…yikes!), as well as a couple of older books by David J. Schow I just scored.

Are you currently working on anything that you want to announce? Has anything of yours recently been published that you would like to talk about?

Later this year, Grey Matter Press will be releasing my debut novel Secrets of the Weird. All I’m going to say is that I promise this book is not like anything else out there and I’m very excited for it to be unleashed upon the world. I also have a new short story called “Acquired Taste” coming out in July, published in a New Zealand-based e-zine called Capricious. The story is very dark, strange, and hopelessly dystopian.

BIO: Chad Stroup received his MFA in Fiction from San Diego State University. His short stories have been featured in anthologies like Splatterlands and Creature Stew, and his poetry has appeared in the first three volumes of the HWA Poetry Showcase. Secrets of the Weird, Stroup’s debut novel, is forthcoming from Grey Matter Press. Visit Subvertbia, a home for some of his short fiction, poetry, and reviews at http://subvertbia.blogspot.com/, and drop by his Facebook page as well. https://www.facebook.com/ChadStroupWriter.

ON RETURNING: IRELAND TO PITTSBURGH TO SETON HILL

It’s been a crazy first week back, but it’s been full of opportunity, experience, friendship, and love. My second week in Dublin was a bit more relaxed as I spent a lot of time just walking around the city, drinking coffee (and yes, sometimes it had whiskey in it) and writing. I wrote a lot of poetry on this trip, and at one point, I got seriously turned around in the city, and ended up in a leather shop where I bought a beautiful briefcase to carry all my books and poems back to the states in. I was lucky enough to steal poet, Mary O’Donnell away for a bit for some coffee and lunch before her reading, and I had the pleasure of hearing another Joycean lecture on Bloomsday from Irish scholar, James Heaney.

Bloomsday in Dublin is always a treat because the entire city comes together to celebrate James Joyce (particularly Ulysses), and it’s just marvelous to see literature being supported and celebrated that way. I walked around the southern part of Dublin as we read excerpts from the novel, drank burgundy wine and ate gorgonzola sandwiches. I saw sights from the novel, and learned some more about Yeats and Wilde that made me both smile and chuckle.

The last day was hard for me because I’ve never been good at saying goodbyes, but part of me knows that I’ll make it back to Ireland someday. Having said that, there was no way that I was sleeping away my last night in the city. I went to Lillie’s Bordello, a nightclub in Dublin, and hung out there as I danced the night away with friends. We drank, we laughed, and then we accidently found our way into a hidden piano bar where I sang The Doors and Bon Jovi at the top of my lungs until about 5 a.m. When I walked back on Trinity’s campus, the sun was up and shining, and everything was quiet. I’ll never forget that moment.

If there was a more perfect way to leave the city, I don’t know what it could be.

After I came back home, there was (and continues to be) a lot of loose ends that I need to tie up before I leave my position, but it helped that I spent a good portion of my week with great company and lots of wine. Friday brought around the Seton Hill University Mass Author Book signing, and it was an absolute blast. I got to spend time with my RDSP crew (Jennifer Barnes, John Edward Lawson, Matt Betts, Kristin Dearborn, Mike Arnzen, Kathleen Taylor-Kollman, Hanna Gribble to name a few) and connect with my old classmates and friends and colleagues. Despite being terribly late, I even got to catch dinner and dessert with my graduate mentor, William H. Horner, and that, as can be expected, was filled with lots of laughs and great conversation. I’ve been really overwhelmed lately, and there are just no words to describe how it feels to walk on that campus and be reunited with my tribe, my family, my absolute favorite people. I never get to spend enough time with them, and last night when we all attended the wine social at The Supper Club was proof of that. I hugged everyone as much as I could, I told my friends that I loved them, and then I left with tears in my eyes and love in my heart because there is nothing more beautiful than being surrounded by people who you love and care about. To SHUWPF—you all are my family and I adore you. My life is better because all of you are in it.

In a few weeks, I’ll be heading off to NECON to see more of my writer tribe. I’m especially looking forward to this trip because I couldn't attend last year and I can’t wait for the memories that it’s going to create. In the meantime, though, I’ll be working on restructuring some things in my life, writing everything and anything from fiction to poetry to essays. I'll also be editing, and spending a lot of time outside walking around and collecting my thoughts as I continue to launch Brothel and get ready for the debut of my novel, The Eighth. I’m excited for this next chapter in my life, but I expect things to be crazier than usual for me in just the most wonderful of ways. I’m looking forward to new adventures, and I feel pretty confident that while my life always tends to be interesting, that these next few months are going to be exceptionally fun and entertaining.

With love and an open heart,

Stephanie M. Wytovich

ON TRAVELING: TRINITY COLLEGE, WHISKEY, AND SEAGULLS THAT SOUND LIKE THEY'RE ALWAYS DYING

I’ve been in Ireland for a little over a week now with Carlow’s MFA program and I’ve been using my free time to run around the city, journal, and get to know myself again. I’ve been inside a castle, stood outside of Francis Bacon’s artist studio, had tea in the Wicklow mountains, and said prayers at Glendalough. I’ve been sampling whiskey, taking walks and sharing stories with new and old friends, rooting for Poland against North Ireland, and singing Bon Jovi songs in pubs. I saw where Bram Stoker got married, I bought a first edition of Rosemary’s Baby, I attended the Dublin Literary Awards, and I looked at a piece from The Egyptian Book of the Dead that detailed the weighing of the heart ceremony.

I’ve laughed a lot.

I’ve cried in jewelry stores.

I’ve made wishes in rivers and lit candles in churches.

And I’ve fallen in love with the idea of being lost.

You see, this year has been exceptionally transitional for me: mentally, emotionally, and physically. I worked our Pittsburgh residency in January, left for Los Angeles (AWP) in March, followed that up with a trip to Las Vegas (StokerCon) in May, and now I’m sitting in my room at Trinity College in Dublin writing this note to all of you. For those of you who don’t know, I’ll be leaving Carlow at the end of month. It’s a really bittersweet moment for me, but I have a lot of wonderful opportunities/plans lined up, some of which I can’t exactly divulge quite yet, but will when I have the chance. Working for this program has been such a blessing, and the people I’ve met because of it, both in Pittsburgh and in Ireland alike, will always be special to me, because each and every one of them has opened my eyes up to a different style of writing, reading, thinking, and being. It’s truly been a gift and one that I will always, always treasure. But with everything that’s happened this year in both my personal and professional life, it’s important for me to reevaluate a lot of things in my life when it comes to where I am, where I’m going, and where I want to be. If you asked me a year ago where I would be today, my answer would have been completely different, and in a lot of ways, that’s heartbreaking, but it’s also beautiful, too, because I feel more at peace with myself in this moment than I ever have before, and I realize that a big part of that is because I’ve started using my voice.

Quietly, at first. But it’s getting louder.

Even if it still shakes sometimes.

So I’ve been standing at the River Liffey and watching the sunset. I’ve been drinking coffee in cafes half-asleep as I scribble poetry in my notebook. I’ve been carrying around a meditation stone to remind myself to breathe, and I put my hand in the lake at Glendalough to feel the energy of the space. I walk around Dublin thinking about my doctoral application and how I’m writing essays and filling out paperwork to get funding to move overseas. I want to teach. I want to write. I want to wake up in cities where I don’t know the language, and I want to sleep in beds, on benches, and on campsites where I can see the sun rise in different parts of the world. I want my body’s internal clock to be so confused that I sleep when I need to, eat when I’m hungry, and live the life that I promised the high-school version of me that I would.

I grew up in a small town where hardly anyone ever leaves. I dated my high school sweetheart up until graduate school, and I lived such a sheltered life that I didn’t know anything about anything, including who I was. I had barely traveled, I couldn’t do anything on my own, and I was so afraid to make decisions based on what I wanted that I spent a good portion of my life miserable and walking on eggshells. Graduate school helped to change that. So did living on my own. But these past two years with Carlow have taught me to open my eyes and my heart to new possibilities and new places. So yeah. I don’t know where I’m going to end up a year from now. It might be back in school, it might be selling cemetery plots, it might be writing poetry in Galway. But the important thing here is that I’m fine, and I’m happy, and I’m so excited for everything that is ahead of me because there’s this terrifying excitement that I’m holding in my hands that is telling me that I can do and go and be anything and everything that I want.

I don’t even have to say silver lining, because I’m over this perpetual darkness that’s been clouding my vision all this time. Life is a journey-it sounds cliche, but I think we forget that some time—and it’s not meant to be easy and it’s not supposed to be static or lived in one place. I have adventure in my eyes and an imagination that keeps me up most nights because all I want to do is tell stories and travel and collect moments. I want to take pictures. I want to kayak down rivers. I want to eat food and drink beer that I can’t even pronounce, and when I do finally come to the page at night, I want to smile because I’m in Amsterdam, or London, or leaving my classroom in Pittsburgh, or sending a new manuscript to Raw Dog Screaming Press.

I want to write letters to my friends who live across the country.

I want to stand in history and witness how it’s changing me.

I want to celebrate the fact that I’ve been in Italy and Ireland, and that I’m collecting stamps in my passport.

Everything has a way of working itself out.

I’m just along for the ride so I can write it all down.

With midnight walks and open windows,

Stephanie M. Wytovich

GUEST POST: THE GIRL IN THE GLASS BOX BY ANDI ADAMS

Hi Everyone!

Today I'm hosting my lovely friend, Andi Adams (Danielle Madafferi) in THE MADHOUSE to chat about dark fantasy, Snow White, and her upcoming debut novel, THE GIRL IN THE GLASS BOX. Enjoy her words and be sure to check out her novel this month!

                                                                                                                            With poison and apples,

                                                                                                                            -Stephanie M. Wytovich

GUEST POST:

It's funny to think that a story that began as a comedic fictional memoir based on Cinderella ended up as a YA dark fantasy based on Snow White. Even when I'm trying to be funny, it has the tendency to turn dark – go figure! And just to set the record straight, I started writing this story back in 2011, before Once Upon A Time, before Snow White and the Huntsman, before Mirror, Mirror. Maybe I'm psychic to know this particular fairy tale would become such a trend. (I wish the lotto numbers would hit me the same way, but I digress.) Actually, I avoided all interpretations of the story so I wouldn't be influenced by any of them. Not an easy thing to do – especially when Chris Hemsworth is involved! (Cue swoon.)

Either way, I've always been drawn to fairy tales, ever since I was a child. I think we all are to some degree. We all like the fantastical elements, and the way these stories give us hope for our own happily-ever-after. Funnily enough, Snow White was never my favorite. As I mentioned, this started as Cinderella (which oddly enough, is also not my favorite. Weird.) But I see many similarities between the two stories - two women who are put in charge of household chores and domestic responsibilities while the rest of their world is tumbling down. Cinderella grows up in a household of women and it is because of her position in the family she is cast aside as insignificant. But in Snow White, she runs away to find refuge from an abusive past and is given the menial task of taking care of the cooking and cleaning for a group of strangers. Why is that? Because she's the only girl?

Hmm… well, even though she takes up the same role in my story, her motives and its reception are different. They have greater significance in the overall story. I guess that's where this idea initially took root in my mind. It started as the exploration of characters whose motivations are ambiguous. I wanted to give them definition and consequence.

Because of this, I was driven to explore how gender roles and expectations help to shape the women in my version of Snow White. Both, in many ways are captives in their own worlds, even though they are both of high-born nobility. For as much money, resources, and education they have, they both comment often about their lack of freedom and what it means to be free. This is not to say that this is a feminist novel, per se. But it does strive to explore the concept of freedom and how it shifts even within the confines of a household where everything else remains equal.

So what is dark fantasy? The short answer (at least in my mind) is that it's in the same vein as Game of Thrones à la George R. R. Martin - pretty much no one is safe. (Clearly, this is not your typical fairytale.) Things happen. Poop hits the proverbial fan and sometimes, happily-ever-after isn't realistic. I've always loved fairytales, but been annoyed that the characters have no back story; they're all so one-dimensional. I mean, when you're playing with archetype characters, I guess that's the nature of the beast, but I've always wondered how did the characters get that way. The psychological development and shifts of a character are far more interesting to me than even the stories themselves.
I conceptualized the narrative to be a way to shed light on how Disney got it wrong. (Not to say there's anything wrong with Disney – I'm a HUGE HUGE fan! Just to set the record straight.) So what I mean by that is Disney presented a flowery, watered-down, child-friendly version of a very dark truth. Some of the story was right (which is why I kept in some unifying details), but most of it was incomplete.

Here are some questions I asked myself while constructing the story: Why does the queen resent Snow White so greatly? From where does that hatred come? (I imagine it's not really about the girl, it's about what she represents – a life the queen never had herself.) Why is 'beauty' such a valuable commodity in her eyes? Why does the queen rely so heavily on the opinion of that mirror? Where did it come from? (Mirror – "Glass Box" – idea of being trapped - get it??) Why does Snow White talk to animals? Seems a bit mental to me. (Even though, truth be told, I have had some magnificent debates with my dogs.) And what is the deal with Prince Charming kissing a dead girl? WTF?!? Gross. There are many things we are asked to buy into without any justification. My goal in writing this tale was to fill in some of those gaps.

I think this, above all, is what makes my story different than other fairytale rewrites from the villains' perspective. Many times, we see how the villain has been misunderstood and misrepresented, but everything else essentially stays the same. In this tale, everyone has a story. Even the princess who, in this case, starts out a spoiled brat - a character you'd be hesitant to root for. This tale strives to show the parallels of humanity and how behind an evil act (or even a good one) are all of the circumstances that brought it to fruition.

I really believe that. No one is born evil. Psychologists and doctors and brain specialists and whoever else may disagree (mind you I don't have a degree in any of those fields), but in my heart of hearts, I believe we're all born clean slates. We are defined by our choices, our environment, our influences, our disappointments, and our triumphs. Each and every moment shapes us and has the potential to change our path. And happily-ever-after is rarely so cut and dry.



Author Bio:

Andi Adams writes, teaches, gets excited about performing random acts of kindness, invents words, and talks with strangers, as often as she can. She loves learning about the world, about others, and about herself, and uses that knowledge to write realistic fiction – everything from YA Fantasy to Women’s Lit. She has a passion for travel, for all things Harry Potter (of course!), and for her two dogs, who are also incidentally her biggest fans. The Girl in the Glass Box is Andi’s first novel.
The Girl in the Glass Box will be available through Amazon for ebook and print-on-demand, with a release date of June 7, 2016. Check out Firefly Hill Press' website for links and more info on upcoming releases at www.fireflyhillpress.com. 

ON MUSIC: YOUR NON-FICTION WYTO GUIDE TO SEX, DRUGS, AND MADNESS.

On my way home from work yesterday, I was listening to my Sex, Drugs, and Madness playlist on Spotify, and it got me thinking about how I have certain songs for different moments, events, and emotions in my life. Some of them are serious, some of them make me chuckle, but it’s all there, song by song. I thought it might be fun to list some of the connections I have with certain songs since music plays such a huge and integral part in my creative process. As most of you know, I make playlists for every project that I work on, so while most people think its unhealthy to live in your memories, for me, it’s necessary to make good art.

So here is your non-fiction WYTO guide to Sex, Drugs, and Madness, plus a few more for good measure.

Sex, Drugs and Madness Playlist:

·         “Little Cream Soda” by The White Stripes: This is my alarm so if this is playing we’re either very fond of each other, living together, or going to be best friends.

·         “Second Chance” by Peter Bjorn and John: The first time I listened to this was in a half-built house at like two in the morning and it was proof that sometimes people do deserve a second chance.

·         “Daydream in Blue” by I Monster: “I fell asleep amid the flowers.”

·         “She Used to Love Me a Lot” by Johnny Cash: I used to love him a lot.

·         “Electronic Sunset” by The Scientists of Modern Music: I’m really happy.

·         “Steady, As She Goes” by The Raconteurs: Life goes on.

·          “Maggie McGill” by The Doors: “People down there, really like to get it on.”

·         “The Difference Between Us” by The Dead Weather: I don’t know the fuck to feel about anything.

·         “Lazaretto” by Jack White: I listened to this entire album on my way home after I spent two days being awake and running around Greensburg playing music, writing poetry, and falling in love with my life again.

·         “Come with Me Now” by KONGOS: If this is on, I’m about to make a bad decision and a great memory and I’m probably going to invite you to come along.

·         “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane: “One pill makes you larger, one pill makes you small.

·         “Jolene” by Dolly Parton: This song isn’t my song, but it’s the song of someone who used to be/is very important to me. When I’m going through a major life change, I listen to this, and it reminds me to take life one day at a time...and to chill out.

·         “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix: I have a weak spot for musicians. And great guitar players.

·         “Alabama Song” by The Doors: “Show me the way to the next whiskey bar…”

·         “Kiss Off” by The Violent Femmes: Give me a pack of cigarettes and an open road. I need time to think. And I’m probably going to wake up in the woods on the hood of my car.

·         “The Passenger” by Iggy Pop: I’m going on a road trip and I don’t have to drive!

·         “I Would Walk 500 Miles” by The Proclaimers: I’m going on a road trip and I have to drive.

·          “Captain Jack” by Billy Joel: Summer 2014

·         “No Regrets” by The Von Bondies: The Year 2014.

·         “Where Is My Mind?” by The Pixies: But seriously guys…

·         “Kids” by MGMT: After two years of healing, this was the song that was playing when I decided to let myself fall in love again. It didn’t work out, but it’s one of my happiest memories.

·         “Spotlight” by Mutemath: I’m about to take a serious chance on something.

·         “Madness” by Muse: I took a serious chance on something and I have no idea what to do now.

·         “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard: I’ve had WAY too much to drink and I’m reliving Coyote Ugly.

Songs that always tap emotions:

·         “In The Cold, Cold Night” by The White Stripes: My favorite song.

·         “She’s Long Gone” by The Black Keys: My leaving song.

·         “Little Black Submarines” by The Black Keys: My I-miss-you song

·         “Falling" by The Civil Wars: My just-kill-me song

·         “Jekyll and Hyde” by Five Finger Death Punch: My I’m-going-to-kill-you song.

·         Wanted Dead or Alive’ by Bon Jovi: My I-forgive-you song.

·         “Think I’m in Love” by Beck: My I'm-falling-in-love song.

Published Works:

·         “Adrenalize” by In This Moment fueled Hysteria: A Collection of Madness and it’s the song I listen to every time I need to get myself pumped up to do anything with writing.

·         I wrote Mourning Jewelry to Jill Tracy’s albums on repeat.

·         An Exorcism of Angels was inspired by “Touch” by Daughter. This is my sad song. If I’m ever listening to Daughter, chances are, it’s been a bad day and you should bring me wine, walk away, and just let me write. Maybe come back with chocolate later.

·         “Click Click Boom” inspired Brothel because it was playing when I got a super-hot kiss from a then-stranger, now close-friend. Hell, I even wrote a poem about it in the collection.

·         The Eighth came out of me hearing “Baptize Me” by The Exies

·         My WIP collection, The Widow Effect, came out of listening to Nick Cave’s “Jubilee Street” on repeat for a weekend.

GET INKED OR DIE NAKED: MY TATTOOS AREN'T FOR YOU

There’s a ton of stuff that I can’t wrap my head around, but the stigma behind tattoos is definitely up there. I mean, I get why people don’t want them---that’s a personal choice to make, just like how it is a personal choice for me to choose to get one—but the stereotyping, shaming, and harassment that comes from having them is just one of the most fucked up things that I’ve experienced as an inked person. So let’s have a conversation folks, because I’m about to get real on a few notes here.

·       My decision to get/have tattoos doesn’t involve you in any way, shape, or form. When I’m going under the needle, you’re not feeling the pain. I’m not asking you to pay for them, I don’t care about your opinion about how their going to look in 50 years, and hell, I’m not even asking you to look at them. Their presence on my body is for me. Strictly and simply for me. If their existence makes you upset...walk.

·       Just because I have tattoos doesn’t mean that I’m a delinquent, that I’m a sex addict, or that I’m going through a phase. My tattoos were all carefully chosen for a number of reasons to represent different moments in my life. Even the one that I spontaneously got in L.A.—which has since become one of my favorite memories and tattoo experiences—was something that I’d been rolling around in my head for years. It was spontaneous because I didn’t think it would end up being a matching one that I got with one of my best friends in a random city we chose to meet up in, but you know what? That makes it better.

·       My ink makes me feel sexy as fuck. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s not my problem. And my favorite thing here—especially here—is if you think it’s going to bother me when you tell me that you don’t want to date or have sex with girls who have tattoos….Ha, sorry. I had to catch my breath there from laughing. If you can’t respect me as a woman, as a creative intellect, as a damn independent thinker, then why the HELL would I want you in my life, or better yet, in my bed? I’m a grown-ass woman, and I don’t have time for that. I mean, I’ve never had time for that, but I certainly don’t have time for it now.

·       I look at tattoos as art and as art therapy. If I choose to cope and take note of experiences in my life with something that’s going to make me feel stronger and creative and confident, then that’s my business. I much prefer having something that I can wear every day that reminds me of my strength. And no, a necklace won’t do here. I swap pain for pain, and that’s how it works for me—that’s where the catharsis comes from. Much like my poetry.

·       My art doesn’t affect my ability to write, think, speak, or act professionally. I’ve worked a ton of jobs and wrote a ton of books while I’ve had tattoos and I promise you, they don’t hold me back, folks.  Plus, I’ve chosen to get all my ink in places that I can hide so it really shouldn’t be a problem or affect/effect your ability to work with me.

·       The other part of having tattoos that makes me want to spit is the entitlement that some people have when they see them on my body. Fun fact about me, folks—if you think my ink is an invitation for you to touch me…I promise you it’s not and that you’re going to find that out the hard way. I once had someone lift up my skirt to see the skull on my thigh. Because you know…that’s totally appropriate. I mean, I have scars from my gallbladder surgery on my stomach—want to see those too? Ugh.

So yeah, I recognize that I got a little sassy there, but I’m always amazed when these issues come up because it just seems to me like we all have so much more important things to deal with in the world, than discussing whether or not the ravens on my rib cage are flying too high or symbolizing something evil.  I mean, my ink is beautifully dark because I’m beautifully dark and I’m not ashamed of that. I’m not going to stop writing horror because it makes people think I’m less feminine, and I’m not going to stop writing erotica because it makes some people have a different colored view on me. Same like how I’m not going to stop wearing black because I should have more color in my life. When I put on a pair of shorts and see my dream catcher, or when I put on a bikini and see my flowered-tell-tale-heart, I smile because they are my battle scars, my trophies, my art. I chose to accept those parts of my body and those moments in my life so that I can look back at them and remember, forget, and/or move on.

You know, when I was younger, and even up till my early twenties, I cared so much about what people thought of me. My friends all spiral-curled their hair and did their nails and wore certain clothing brands and I was convinced that I needed to do all of that for people to like me. And then I did. And then those people liked me….and I hated them. I thought I needed to act a certain way to impress men, so I did, and I dated them, and I realized that they were as fake as our relationships felt. So I started dancing (not walking) to the beat of my own drum and I’ve been happier ever since. I like my hair being a wavy mess: it reminds of the summer I spent driving PA highways at night with the windows down. I like wearing a lot of black: it makes me feel colorful and keeps my wild spirit intact. I like having tattoos: it makes my body feel complete and beautiful. So if my tattooed, pale-skinned, black-wearing, spirit bothers you, I promise you, I could honestly care less.
                    
                                                                                                                      With inked skulls and roses,

                                                                                                                              Stephanie M. Wytovich

ON VEGAS: PATTI SMITH, POETRY, AND BLACKJACK MARGARITAS

I’m back from Vegas and I’m sleepy, drinking too much coffee, and watching old horror movies in my pajamas while I catch up on some work, but despite having to acclimate to the time change and come to terms with the amount of laundry I have to do, damn was StokerCon16 a blast. This trip came at such an important and necessary time for me, and as a result, I feel renewed, refreshed, and reenergized after spending time with new and old friends, colleagues, and my SHUWPF family.

 

I got into Vegas Wednesday night and took a cab to The Flamingo Hotel and Casino, where I literally ran to my room for about 30 seconds and then headed out to the strip to meet my girl, Kristin Dearborn (insert official welcome to the RDSP crew here). Her and her lovely aunt and uncle invited me out to dinner with them, and we buffeted at Caesar’s Palace where I think we all got a little too excited and overwhelmed by the food choices (Note: I could eat oysters until I die and I think I tried to). After that, we walked through the Bellagio and checked out the beautiful Chihuly ceiling and the Japanese conservatory—which, wow. Never in a million years would I have thought that a giant pink room could have made me so happy.

We scoped out the fountain show, which I ended up watching a few times during my visit because it was gorgeous, and there always happened to be a transformer behind me, but I digress. After that, Kristin and I called it a night and headed back to our room where we almost assassinated our desk lamp, but alas, stayed out of trouble and decided let it live…which was a mistake.

Thursday was a pretty epic day for me. I woke up, showered, and hit the strip early. I walked from Treasure Island to the Luxor Hotel where I started off with an inhuman-espresso-loaded coffee and ended up with a black jack margarita, because honestly people, if this girl is going to gamble, it’s going to be with her sobriety, not with a handful of cards. But yes, as I was planning my trip to Vegas, I learned that BODIES: THE EXHIBITION was in town, as well as TITANTIC: THE ARTIFACT EXHIBITION, and there was no way in hell that I was leaving until I experienced them both. I walked through BODIES and took notes and wrote poetry to organs and diseases, and then I made my way onto the Titanic. For those who don’t know me super well, I’ve harbored a serious obsession with the Titanic since I’ve been a little girl (shout out to Vanessa who died with me on the ship in a past life). I had such a strong, emotional reaction to the artifacts that I really can’t recommend it enough to anyone who has interest in this moment of history. I was doing fairly well until I made it to the section of ship with the Grand Staircase, and I ended up standing there for at least a good ten minutes simply just crying. I got to see parts of the ship, belongings of the passengers, and also stand on a deck that mirrored what the night looked like before the ship struck the iceberg. It was a surreal experience and I honestly am so happy that I got to check both of these exhibits off my bucket list, especially because I got to spend some time in Belfast last summer and see where the Titanic was originally docked.

I came back to the hotel after that and worked on my lecture a little bit, but then Arnzen and I headed out to Margaritaville for some blackberry moonshine, that surprisingly didn’t kill me, which I haven’t decided if that’s something to be proud of or not yet (ha). We hung out and caught up for a bit, and then saw Jason and Sunni Brock, Steve Rasnic Tem, and William F. Nolan from across the room, so we crashed their table for a bit and filled the evening with even more laughs. I registered for the conference that night, bumped into a ton of friends in the dealer’s room, and then hung out on the patio until an ungodly hour where I chatted about writing, listened to sasquatch stories, told horrifically embarrassing stories from college that I’ll never live down, and had the pleasure of meeting both Brian Kirk and Andrew Wolter, who are just two of the greatest guys around.

Friday afternoon, I taught my workshop Poetic Justice: Vice and Virtue in Horror Poetry to an absolutely lovely crowd of writers, all of who left with a poem about something/someone that/who haunts them. We all shared work, myself included with a new poem that a guy actually asked me to write about him (silly boy) titled “When I Promised Him Murder,” and the hours flew by and we just had a blast. I kicked back after that with Jennifer Barnes and Mike Arnzen at a trippy Japanese restaurant, and then Jen and I went to see Zumanity where we laughed and blushed for hours and I formed a serious crush on a man with a pink Mohawk who I saw do things with chains and whips that I’m STILL blushing over.

Whew, thank you, Vegas.

Ice cream and madness followed after that as we headed back to the Flamingo. I was out on the patio with everyone until about 4-4:30 that morning, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed so hard in my damn life. Joe Borelli (one of my seriously favorite people in the whole world) showed up and I tackled him in the lobby at first sight…same with Vanessa Giunta. I chatted with Chris Marrs and Matt Schwartz about tattoos, drank way too much with my SHU friends, made future plans for NECON, and ended up in a raptor forest with Trevor Firetog. All in all, it was definitely a night not to be missed.

I joined my CHIRAL MAD 3 friends Saturday morning for our book signing, and Marge Simon and I chuckled throughout most of it as we ate jelly beans and talked poetry. I got to chat with Chris Morey and Michael Bailey for a bit, and also sign the nameplates for my novel The Eighth, which will be out this summer from Dark Regions Press. After that, I had lunch with the ever-lovely Maria Alexander where we caught up over margaritas, and then I headed to the editing panel where I sat and chatted with David Morrell (RAMBO), Jason V. Brock, Jodi Rene Lester, and Ellen Datlow.

The award ceremony was lovely, as always, as I shared the night with my RDSP crew. I’m just over-the-moon excited for my dear friends and fellow writers, Tim Waggoner and Lucy Snyder, who won the Horror Writers Association Mentor of the Year Award and the Bram Stoker Award for Best Fiction Collection. Afterwards, I got to catch up with Aaron Sterns and Linda Addison, and then I spent the majority of my night out on the patio with Robert Payne Cabeen and his lovely wife, Cecile. We chatted about African art and mourning jewelry, fiction and poetry, Patti Smith and The Doors, and it was easily the highlight of my trip and just the best conversation to leave Vegas with.


It was hard saying goodbye to everyone Sunday morning, but the trip was unforgettable, and it helps knowing that next year we get to reunite on THE QUEEN MARY! Before I left, I did a super fun podcast with Joe Borelli, the body and brains behind CREATURE CAST, and then Lucy Snyder and I grabbed a cab and started to make our way back out to the east coast.

Overall…Vegas, baby.

It was pretty much everything that I expected and hoped that it would be, and you know, every time I leave these things, I leave just feeling so blessed that not only do I get to live out my dreams, but that I get to do it with the people that I know and love and always look forward to seeing.
Cheers to you beautiful, dark people.

I’ll see some of you at SHU next month, some of you at NECON this July, and hopefully cross paths with some/most of you before California next year, but if not, I’ll definitely see you then.

With moonshine and spades,

Stephanie M. Wytovich